The Things We Did
by CillaBear101
Summary: When things become too much for Gerard to handle, he runs away from home, only to find himself in the mix of drugs, sex, violence, and a boyfriend crazier than him. Will he find his way out of 'Haunted House' or will he slip into the euphoric craze that fits him so snugly? Waycest/Frerard/Brerard also, Rape/Prostitution enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**_hi guys! i know you must hate me for leaveing everyone hanging on my other stories, but i have a new one for you! ive been stuck on this one for awhile, and honestly im not sure if i should keep it up, it gets kinda crazy... anyway, i hope you guys like and thanks fro checkin in! ~ CillaBear_**

he was beautiful.

i stared down at my little brother with fasination, why couldnt i look like him?

_because you were born a fuck up._ Allie said.

_i'd have to agree, dont you think its kinda creepy staring and watching your brother sleep?_ Justin implied.

i ignored them, i didnt fear them waking him up either, 'cause they were in my head. i just continued to watch Mikey.

he had shifted, mummbling "No, come back, please?" before falling silent yet again. i was a tad jealous of that too, why was i the only one who heard voices?

before you ask why im in here, NO, I AM _NOT_ IN LOVE WITH MY LITTLE BROTHER NOR DO I _WANT_ TO BE. he was just my best friend, my only friend besides the devil's rejects in my head.

_Hey! we heard that!_ Allie snapped but i ignored her again.

i looked at the digital clock next to his bed, it was only 237. poor Mikey, he must have been exausted if he fell asleep this early on a friday. "Dont go! i love you!" i heard Mikey mummble, still sleeping.

i smirked, must be some girl i didnt know about just yet. i stepped back, leaving him to his dreams, and sunk down in the darkest corner. i pulled out a blade and tugged down my pajama pants.

oh c'mon! do you really think im stupid enough to cut on my arms? where someone could see? hell no! i cut on my thighs, where i know no one would ever look.

i pressed the blade to the tender skin and sliced slowly. blood leaked out, and i imagined the thick drips hitting the floor, damnit, i would have to clean those.

i cherished the burning sting, cherished the crimson liquid also known as my blood, i cherished the peace it gave me. i just wanted to make sure i was alive, that i wasnt hollow, that this was real. my blood, at least, was beautiful, my only perfection.

perfect.

i hated that word, esspecially after that sonofabitch did what he did. i could feel myself slipping into a flashback.

_i was in the bathroom, it was maybe 3 in the morning. i was so tired, and my friend was still asleep. suddenly, the front door opened and a very very intoxicaded man stumbled through. i didnt want him to see me, my friend and i knew how crazy he could get when he was drunk. so i slipped into the tub and pulled the curtain closed. to my horror, he stumbled into the bathroom. i stayed quiet, i didnt want him to hear me. he took his piss, but i guessed he turned too fast cuz he fell into the tub. shit! he got up faster than i thought he could and looked at me a sick smile working its way onto his face. "I knew i smelt a purddy boy." he said and took his belt off. "S-stay away from me!" i managed to choke out. but he pinned me in the bathtub and i could feel his hard dick "Imma take gud care a you." he whispered in my ear._

"Gee?" i heard Mikey ask, so i yanked my PJ's back up, greatful that they were black. i said nothing, scared to let him know i was there.

"Gee? is that you?" he got up and was inching towards the light.

Fuck!

i didnt want him to see the blood on the floor! so i quickly said "Yes, im here! im sorry, i just-"

"Damnit Gee you scared the shit outta me!" he said, his hand flying to his heart.

my eyes filled with tears.

of course i scared him, i scared everyone. no one really knew about the voices except Mikey, and everyone else just called me crazy, fearing me for some unknown reason.

"I-im sorry Mikey, i just... i'll go." i said an got up, making sure to expertly wipe the floor with my thigh unsuspectingly, cleaning the blood.

"No! Stay, i just didnt know you were in here." he said, hearring the tears in my voice. we were quiet for a while till i built up the courage to speak "You were talking in your sleep..."

he chuckled nervously and said "Oh yeah? wad i say?"

i smiled and put my hand to my head like a girl did when they were thinkin of some hunk "Oh baby! dont leave me! i need you in my life, oh my love!" i said like an lil ol' southern belle.

he inhaled sharply, obviously shocked. "D-did i really say that?" he asked, much more awake now.

i giggled "No, but it only proves my theory right."

"What theory?"

"_You_ have a crush!"

"No i dont!"

"C'mon Mikes, who is she?"

"I-I dont know what your talking about..."

that made me kinda sad, so i smiled and said, "Its ok, you dont have to tell me..." he sighed and turned on the light.

i froze, please please _please_ dont let him to ask me to sit next to him.

but of course my luck was never with me on the right moments, so he patted the seat next to him. his sheets were white, i knew the blood hadnt dried yet, but how could i try to shrug it off?

so i walked very very slowly and sat next to him, fuck! i knew the blood soaked into the sheets!

"she is really nice and i really close to her, shes my best friend." ouch, that stung. i thought i was his best friend...

"Whats her name?" i asked before he noticed the hurt on my face.

"Uh... M-Michaela?" he whispered uncertainly

"No really, whats her name?"

"Im serious." he said, not looking at me, blushing a delicate pink.

i decided not to push it. "So whats she like?"

"Shes beautiful Gee. i love her, everything about him is perfect, im so close to him, but i know he doesnt feel the same way, so im just settling with just being his best friend, 'sides, its a forbidden love..."

"You realize your kept saying 'him'"? i said he stared at the floor horrified, but didnt deny it.

"Bro... are you Bi?"

"Something like that, yeah."

"So your gay?"

he just shrugged.

I smiled and hugged him "Me too." i said as i pulled away.

"R-Really?" he sound hopeful.

"Yeah, i thought you knew..." i said, i didnt wear eyeliner to be emo, i didnt like skinny jeans just because they make me stand out, and i sure at hell didnt stare at dudes cuz i was straight.

he giggled and hesitently held my hand.

i squeezed and smiled at him.

"So... do you like anyone?" he somewhat asked

"Y-Yeah..."

"Who?"

"I dont want to tell you."

something sparked into his eyes "Do i know him?"

i nodded

"Like, how well?"

"Very well."

"Is he hot?" i nodded again with a smile, noticing how his hand started to shake.

"Is he like... into you?"

"I dont know... i wish i knew."

"Im sure you will find out..." he whispered so low i wasnt sure he said it.

we were quiet for awhile when he asked "Whats that?" i looked in the direction he was and saw the crimson stain on the sheets.

FUCK!

"Did you pop some chick?" i asked nervously.

"Dude, i just told you i was gay."

"Oh right..."

he looked at me and said "Pants. Off. Now."

"Mikey, i-"

"Now!"

"No! please!" i was crying now. he pushed me down and he yanked them down, revealing all my lacerations, some deep, showing how i had split some muscle, and some were a bit deeper than scratches.

"Gee..." he whispered, touching the still dripping blood.

i was crying so hard now. i was so mad at him, but at the moment i hated myself even more. i felt like slicing my throat open. i hated myself so much i just wished God would put me out of my misery, for once just take mercy on me.

suddenly i felt lips on my thigh. my eyes shot open. Mikey was kissing the self inflicted wounds. he kissed all the deep ones, then placed his forehead on my knee. "Please dont do this Gee, i love you and dont want you to hurt! please?"

that made me want to cry harder.

why would he do this? take away my only escape? my only happiness in this fucked up place called earth?

"I-I cant! i need it!" i wailed,

"No you dont Gee! you have me! you can use me as a distraction, i'll do anything for you..." he was crying now too.

fuck! no, i need to cut, i needed to see the blood at least once every other day.

"I'll do _anything_ Gee."

"Mikey! i-i-i neeeeeed it! please! d-dont take it from me! its my only happiness!"

"I dont make you happy Gee?"

"Of course you do, but-"

"Would you like me to make you feel better right _now_?" he asked in a weird voice. his nose started tracing up and down the inside of my thigh.

i didnt like it...

at all.


	2. Chapter 2

"Mikey,"

"Yes Gerard?"

"Um, c-can you stop?"

"Why? i promised to make you feel better." he said, the tip of his nose getting dangerously close to my dick. i was shaking, trying not to fall into a flashback and squirmed, saying "I-i do feel better now, much better, so you can stop."

he smirked up at me and whispered "Would you like to feel amazing?"

ok, now i was seriously not liking this. his hand was slowly running up, closer and closer to my manhood, that wasnt even the slightest bit hard might i add, i swear it probably shrunk cuz i was that scared.

so i pushed him off and pulled my pants back up.

"I-im going to bed Mikey, i'll see you tomorrow." i said hastily and nearly ran from the room. as soon as i reached my room i fell into a full fledged flashback, returning to the scene i was having before

_he managed to get the belt around my throat, i could hardly breathe. my eyes felt like they were going to pop, my spine was contorted. he pulled down my pajama pants and stroked my not at all hard dick. "Get it up boy, ima need it." he said, giving me a hand job, but i still wouldnt get a full hard on, i was too scared. "I said GET IT UP!" he yelled and punched me hard, my nose breaking. i couldnt even scream out in pain, i knew i couldnt waste the precious limited air supply i had. he tried again, but i still couldnt get a full hard on, so he continued to punch me, bruising whatever his fist came in contact with, breaking my eyebrow open, blood gushing out of that too. dear god, he was gonna kill me if i didnt do this. but i was trying to weight the pro's and con's of the situation. i finally decided that i didnt want to die, so i tried to think of the dirtiest images and started to stroke myself, imagening it was some amazingly hot person. he pushed my hand away, slamming it so hard against the tub that i could feel two of my knuckles crunch, and started to stroke me himself, wanting the satisfaction of getting me hard. i continued to think of the dirtiest things, till finally i had a hard on. "Thats a gud boy, now why dont you return the favor?" he said and tugged his pants off. i almost wanted to say, "No need asshole, your pretty fuckin hard." but i didnt want to give him ideas. so my shaking hand wrapped itself around his hard memeber, stroking it softly. it earned me another hard blow to the face and he yelled "Did i say be gentle?" "Dad, why are you- OH MY GOD! GET OFF HIM!" my friend shouted from the door, i guess he had come to see why there was so much comotion. i wasnt hard anymore either. i was gasping for air, bleeding and crying. suddenly, the older man flicked out a pocket knife and held it to the little space on my throat, resting on my main artery. "Dad, please, let him go." my friend tried again "If i let him go, then you have to show me a good time." his father said with an evil grin. i looked at my friend thru my good eye and he looked at me, whispering, "Im so sorry." then he ran off, locking his door. "NO! HELP ME! CALL THE FUCKING POLICE, DO SOMETHING!" i managed to yell, wasting air, but my friend just shouted back "I CANT! JUST FUCKING PRETEND OR SOMETHING!" the man chuckled, but stopped when he saw i wasnt hard anymore. so he took the blade to my stomach, cutting the word "Sinner" into it. i cried out, it hurt so bad! "Now ima do this one more time, and you better get it up." he said as he finished slicing me. i nodded fervorently, and closed my eyes, literally replaying every hot porno i had ever seen. his hand was rough with me now, squeezing too tight, it hurt. but i forced myself to ignore the pain and focus on the dirty images in my mind. once i was hard again, he pulled the belt tighter, just to hear me choke, then grabbed my legs and put them on his shoulders. i couldnt move, i was too scared, too weak. i could feel his dick at my entrance and i tensed up. then he shoved himself inside of me. i let out a strangled cry. FUCK IT HURT SO BAD! i could feel a warm liquid coming out of my hole and i knew it was blood by the thick sticky feel. he laughed and rammed into me, enjoying the sounds of my screams, enjoying the sounds of me gasping for breath and getting none, enjoying the complete control he had. i kept begging, trying my hardest to plead with him. but that only made him laugh harder. i hadnt noticed him continue to cut me, my arms, my neck, my stomach, everywhere. i just wished for death. then out of nowhere he shot into me, grunting. the feel of his cum filling me was so shocking, i felt my eyes widen, and i tensed, gasp/choking. "Told ja id take gud care o you." he whispered slamming my head against the tub, leaving. i took the belt off from around my neck and gasped for air. once i had it, i cried. there was a puddle of my blood beneath me and my ass was on fire. blood pourred from everywhere, my ass, my stomach, my neck, my legs, my arms, and now the back of my head. i didnt want to move, so i just lay in a broken pile and cried. i heard someone come into the bathroom and i closed my eyes tight, waiting for another blow, but it never came. "G-Gee? im so sorry, i didnt know what to do..." it was my friend. i opened my good eye and looked at him, he was staring at the floor. i was still wheezing, still hurting, but now i was pissed. he left me here. this is his fault. "I-i called the police, like you said... they should be here soon." "why didnt you help me?" i asked in a raspy whisper. he was going to answer till we heard the door bell. he ran to get it and i heard him say "In the bathroom, help him!" people ran up and i saw the police. they covered me up and lifted me from the tub. they had the man who did this in handcuffs, but he was smiling. when he caught my eye, he blew me a kiss. _

i snapped out of it, gasping as if it had just happened. i curled into a ball and cried, because worse than the rape, worse than the flashbacks, worse than _anything_, was the fact that that had made me gay_. _

the man went to jail for life, and i didnt talk to the boy anymore. i never want to see him again. i started to cut after that, on the only place he hadnt hurt, my thighs.

he had cut everywhere else, except my thighs. that was the only part of me left. the only part i truely owned, so i cut them, to remind myself that i am a sinner, i am damned to hell, and i never have a chance at heaven.

there was a noise next to me and i froze.

"Gee, relax, it me." Mikey said, grabbing my hand.

"h-how'd you get in here?" i asked, my hand trembling.

"Gee, we dont need to do this." he whispered.

"Do what?"

"We dont need to hide it anymore, if we like eachother, why not be with eachother?"

"Mikey, i-" i was trying to tell him i didnt see him like that, but he pressed his lips to mine.

my breathing spiked, i was shaking head to toe, and i was trying to think of how to get him off me. he straddled me and i could feel his aroused member in his pajama bottoms, which was all he was wearing.

he was kissing me harder now, but pulled away suddenly and asked "Did you jack off already?"

"What?"

"Well, your not hard, and i am. im _really_ hard, so i was wondering if you jacked off already."

"Yes! i did!" i said a little too excitedly. he smirked in the darkness and said "You mind helping me with my problem?"

i wanted to tell him that i did mind, very much.

but i knew what would happen. he would stop talking to me, he would join everyone else and call me crazy, and only he knew it was true. i couldnt lose my only and best friend, so i slowly reached into his pants and gently stroked him.

he moaned out a little and pulled his pants down so i could have full access.

i continued to give him a hand job, feeling the sticky pre-cum leak down.

"suck me Gee!" he gasped out.

"No, let just start with this." i said, not wanting to do anymore of anything with him.

"mmm, ok... ooh yeah Gee, just like that." he moaned as my thumb gently made little circles on his head, running along his slit.

after another minute or so he was trembling and said "i-im soo c-close!" he started whimpering, his hips gently bucking.

when he exploded, he growled out my name, gripping my hair and riding out his orgasm in my hand. when i thought he was done, he started making gentle little pumps and more jizz came out, just oozing from his tip. then he thrusted himself into my hand two more times and came again.

dear god, this boy could go on forever.

he pumped softly once more and once again oozed, then i felt his dick twitch in my hand, signally he was beyond empty.

he collasped back onto my floor and sighed happily while i looked for something to clean all this jizz off with.

it coated my whole hand and literally dripped onto my floor.

he suddenly grabbed my hand and licked some of his own seed off and then pulled me down and kissed me, ramming his tongue in my mouth. for the first time in my life tasted my little brother, and it made my stomach turn.

this was wrong, so very wrong.

i pulled away, not wanting to share spit or _him_ anymore.

"I love you Gerard." he whispered and shoved his hand in my pants grabbing me. suddenly, anger rocked thru me and i pushed him away.

i guess he thought i wanted to be kinky and do some kind of role play, cuz he giggled and said "ive been bad, big brother, mommy sent me to stay in your room, wanna have some fun?" then he stroked my thighs, whispering "So bad, so _fucking_ bad."

"Mikey get out." i said, trying not to sound too mean.

"Would you like to _come_ _in_?" he asked, licking his lips.

"Mikey-" but he pulled me ontop of him and opened his legs, waiting for me to shove myself in him. i pulled away, but he only rolled us over and tried to do it himself.

i suddenly was blinded by rage and i pushed him off hard. he flew into the wall with a loud _thud_, i got up and growled, sounding demonish.

i could see him shrink against the wall, eyes wide. "G-Gee?" he asked in a whisper.

"Get your fucking pants and leave." i growled out, sounding scarier. he grabbed his pants and ran out.

i was mad, so fuckin mad.

i wanted to see blood, and not my own.

_do it Gerard, make him pay for doing that to you. _justin said.

i could feel my anger building even higher

_Yes Gerard, feel the rage, let it burn through your forsaken veins, doesnt it feel good? _Allie cooed.

"Yes... yes it feels good." i whispered to them.

i was seeing red, i could see through the dark room like daylight had broken loose. i wanted to taste blood, and lots of it.

_Gerard, go. you have the blades dont you? he's thin, easy access to his arteries, easy access to his death. Go, go kill Michael. he used you, he took advantage of you, just like that man did. he made you do those things, what makes you think Michael wont? Go Gerard, Go._ they both urged me.

"Yes, your right, your both right. he used me, he made me do those things, he forced me..." i walked over to my dresser in a trance, grabbing my blades, picking the sharpest ones.

then i walked robotically to Michael's room, stopping outside the door.


	3. Chapter 3

stopping just outside his door, i could hear him crying, talking to someone.

"...And it was so amazing! i felt so happy and i felt so complete after he jacked me and he made me jizz so much!... i mean like, his hand was fucking dripping and coated... your gross! anyway, i told him i loved him, and i meant it, i love him so much!... i know its wrong you dipshit! thats why im only telling you!... thats not why im calling, its what happened after... he, he scared me... i was gonna let him, ya know, fuck me, and i just wanted to show him i loved him, that i wanted him to be my first, but he p-pushed me, like, s-slammed me against the wall, and he f-fuckin g-growled and he was really m-mad and-and-and...Frankie, im really scared and confused, i dont know what i did wrong! he was explaining _me_! he was saying he wanted _me_! i just thought i was, i dont know, making _both _our dreams come true."

he was crying harder now, i could imagen his skinny frame shaking, his knees to his chest.

i backed away from the door slowly, two sides of me fighting, one side wanted me to kill him, to make him suffer, but the other side wanted me to leave, to just leave and keep him alive.

my better side won and i ran to my room, shoving clothes into a bag. i quickly grabbed a pen and paper and scribbled

_Mikey, _

_im so sorry, i need to leave, for both of us, you will understand one day. take care of mom and dad, go find the man of your dreams, be yourself._

_goodbye,_

_G_

i wanted to put "I love you" but i knew he would take it the wrong way. then i climbed out the window and ran.

i didnt have any friends, i dont think ive made myself clear, i literally dont talk to anyone but my brother, he's the only one who wouldnt call me crazy or fag.

so i ran to the park on the other side of town and hid in the play tube. i had taken my blades with me, and i pulled my pants down and sliced deeper than i ever had. it hurt so much but felt so good. it was a huge gash, gushing blood, but it calmed me so much that i closed my eyes and started to drift when i heard a voice.

i opened my eyes, not sure if it just in my head, but it sounded like it was getting closer, i heard the conversation now too "Yes Papa, i know... no i wont get caught... yes Papa... yes Papa... i will... i love you too."

it was a girl, she was walking to the tube. i pulled my pants up, but i had lost so much blood that it was running out of the tube.

Fuck!

then i heard a click as someone cocked a gun.

FFFFUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKK!

are you serious?! oh well, i guess i deserved death anyway.

"Who- Oh God! are you ok?!" she was looking into the tube now. she was dressed as a cute little goth, short skirt, knee high boots, tight corset top, her hair in pigtails, all black.

i bursted into tears and said "n-n-no!"

"Hey its ok, im not gonna hurt you, i promise! c'mon, come over here." she said, helping me out.

i saw the crusting cum of my brother all over my hand and it ran down my arm. i shivered with disgust. i was used to the pain of walking after cutting, so i didnt even limp. i realized i was only wearing pajama bottoms and some socks, both drentched in blood and cum, cum matted my hair too, i hadnt noticed i was running my hand thru my hair.

"Whats your name?" she asked, sitting next to me on a table.

"G-Gerard."

"Im Kaylee, but on the streets im Goth Girl, why are you bleeding Gerard?"

"I-i cut myself." why was i admiting everything to a girl who had a gun? "What?! why?!" she said, grabbing my hand. i sobbed and told her everything. "I...Im so sorry, i dont know what to say..."

"N-now i cant go h-home, i cant go anywhere! why cant i just Die?! why am i so fucked up?!" i was still crying, my eyes hurt and i was dizzy, i cried harder.

"Thats not true, would you like to come live with me? i have a group of friends, and they are really cool, trust me, they wont make fun of you or anything." i looked at her and nodded. "But first, let me see." she said pointing at my thighs.

my eyes got wide and i shook my head. "Please Gerard? let me help you!" she said and squeezed my hand, looking very understanding.

so i slowly tugged my PJ's down and she gasped. she stared at my thighs, then said "You did that to yourself?" i nodded, pulling them back up. she looked at me with tears in her eyes then hugged me tightly, "Gerard, never take anyone's shit, be you, dont hurt yourself, you are an amazing person that has lived thru hell, and im so proud you are still alive, and im so glad your coming with me." she said.

just then her phone started buzzing and she answered it "Hi Papa, we've got a new one, and he's family... yeah im at the park... ok, i love you Papa." then she hung up. "Our ride will be here soon, his name is Tyler, but we all call him Papa. he keeps us up, takes you where ever you want to go, gives you how ever much money you want. He actually has a club some of us work at, no he wont force you, he doesnt believe in that shit. i work there." she said and winked.

"What kind of club?"

"Its a gentleman's house, we _entertain_ them, but if we dont like the person, Papa will make sure they leave us alone, ive never had a problem with anyone i didnt want."

"So... your a prostitute?"

"What?! No! i like what i do, and Papa keeps us safe, but trust me he wont force you or anything." she said and led me closer to the street. the light caught all of my scars from the brutal rape and she saw the word "Sinner" etched into my skin, her finger tips tracing the letters slowly.

"I was kinda hoping you were lying..." she whispered and hugged me again. then a black stretch hummer limo pulled up and someone opened the door for us. "C'mon!" she said, pulling me along. the inside was dark and lit by black lights. there were four girls and two guys there, all dressed in their own taste, all of them eyeing me.

"Please tell me your family!" one of the guys blurted out, he was pretty cute.

i nodded and he scooted closer to me "Im Double D, whats your name?" he said, obviously in the mood for flirting.

"Im Gerard..." i whispered, blushing. "Mmm, Oh my Gee, why?" he asked as he put his hand on my thigh and it came away red with blood.

"I-i..." i couldnt get the words out.

"Its ok hunny, some of us do it too, we all have our little drugs!" he said and winked. i smiled at him.

"Hello Gerard." i heard the deep voice of the other guy and i looked at him. everything about him screamed "I Have Money!" but he was smiling genuinely and offered me a drink of water. i took it and it tasted a little sweet, but i guessed that was because i had been licking at my salty tears. i drank it all down, so he offered me another.

"Sorry, im just really thirsty." i said, feeling rude

"no, no, dont apologize i wouldnt deny any of my kids anything." he said. he seemed so nice.

"How old are you?" i asked

"Im 32, what about you?"

"Im 17. i turn 18 in a few weeks." i said, and it was true, my birthday really was a few weeks away. "So tell us about yourself." he said and i looked down. thankfully, Kaylee stepped in "Um, Papa? he's had some issues, i dont think everyone should know."

"Oh im so sorry Gerard! i didnt mean to put you out there, we can talk later ok? want some more water?" he asked as i finish my second bottle.

i nodded and he handed me another. they all asked me questions and i answered them all honestly. i felt better than i had in awhile, i had never told anyone about myself other than Mikey.

Double D was kinda touchie feelie, but after my fourth bottle of water, i was too. "I bet your a great Kisser Gerard. are you a good kisser?" he asked as everyone started their own conversations and ignoring us.

"I would like to think so, but you'd have to tell me." i said as seductively as i could. we both leaned in and our lips touched. it started off soft, until i felt a little nudge against my lips, his tongue, and i let him in. i hadnt even realized everyone was quiet and watching, i just kissed D and enjoyed it.

when i finally pulled away, he bit his lip and said "Damn your so fuckin good." i giggled and pecked him again. he turned to Papa and said "No really, he's fuckin amazing." Papa rolled his eyes and took a swig of something. i knew it was alcohol, but i just looked away.

Goth Girl still sat next to me looking at the bottle of water in my hands in confusion. when i went to take another swig, she gently took it from me and said "I think thats enough."

"But... im thirsty!" i complained.

"I think Rose Blood messed with our water again." she said to Papa seriously. he looked alarmed and sat next to me "Gerard, im going to do something to you, please dont be alarmed." he said politely. Why wasnt i scared? he suddenly grabbed my crotch and i moaned and clasped my hand over his, keeping his there. "Fucking Bitch, im not taking care of her anymore." Papa said and snatched his hand away, but i was now painfully hard.

God, i wanted someone so bad right now.

"I'll take care of you Emo Cutie, just relax." Double D said and his hand was in my pants, stroking me. i was going to moan, but his lips crashed to mine. he gave me a hand job and i finish after a long time, cuz he kept going fast then slow, then slower, then fast again. i exploded onto his hand and he started to lick it off. when he finished he said "Sorry, i like the taste of cum."

i was suddenly really tired. so tired that the world was spinning. "He's gonna pass out." one of the girls warned just as i collapsed on D's lap and fell into darkness.


	4. Chapter 4

**_ok, tons of errors and such in this but i finally posted a new chapter, dont murder me. jeebs! lol hope you guys enjoy!_**

"Ugh..." i rolled over, my head was pounding, my mouth and throat were dry, i didnt want to open my eyes.

there was a scent in the air, like... Axe and Dove, it was weird. Mikey didnt wear Axe, mom didnt use Dove, and-

then last night ran through my mind.

before i could open my eyes, someone jumped on me and kissed me. my eyes shot open and i pushed the person off. "EC? are you ok?" it was Double D, and he wore nothing but some boxers. God, his body was so perfect!

i blushed little and said "S-sorry, i-i... what did you just call me?" he giggled and pecked me on the lips "I called you EC, its your new initials for Emo Cutie."

"Oh..." he giggled again and stroked me, i hadnt even realized i was naked. i got a hard on. "Mmm, you horny already? its only 8."

"In the morning?"

"No Mr. SillyBigWilly! you slept for a while." he was stroking me faster.

i reluctantly pushed his hand away and he frowned in confusion. "I-im a virgin.." i said, blushing deeper and looking down.

"Well, Papa doesnt allow virgins to work in his club."

"Who said i was gonna work there?"

"no one! i was just letting you know." he pulled me up and threw me one of my bags. "Shower?" i nodded and looked around as he led me to the bathroom.

the room was sexy, black walls with neon words scribbled into them, the bed was huge, the ceilling was a huge mirror. once he reached the bathroom he let me in first then, shut the door after he followed.

i looked horrible, i had dried blood and cum everywhere, like i was in some kind of demented orgie.

he stripped off his boxers and i couldnt help that "God Damn your huge!" that slipped out of my mouth. he giggled and pushed me against the wall, his lips silencing mine. i was so horny that i grabbed him and pinned him against the wall where i was and got on my knees.

as soon as i was there, i was nervous, i had never done this before, the only reason i gave Mikey a hand job was because i watched a lot of porn and it was easier to learn. it didnt help that he was fucking huge.

"Its ok, i'll guide you thru it." he urged me on, obviously wanting this. so i grabbed him and gently made little circles on his head with my tongue, earning a groan of approval.

i put him in my mouth, swirling my tongue, and gently letting my teeth graze the bottom of his dick. this got me a few gasps and a hand in my hair after a loud groan, encouraging me to keep going. i took more and more of him in my mouth, testing my gag reflexes, which were apparently asleep right now, so soon i was throat deep in dick. i had built up a steady rhythm and started to massage his base, making him relax.

"Haven't done this my _ASS_!" he growled out as he started to tremble. so i went faster, knowing he was close. his breathing was getting faster and faster till he made a choking sound and he exploded into my mouth.

i almost threw up.

Cum is disgusting, it feels gross and taste gross, and i never wanted to know how it tasted ever again. but i tried to be cool, so i swallowed it.

_EEEWWW_!

he giggled and said "After awhile it doesnt taste so bad." he must have read my thoughts, or face. "Your so fucking good, and if your not lying, then your a fucking natural." he was pushing me back as he spoke, till i fell onto the toilet, then he got on his knees, returning the favor.

once i was done, he licked me clean, then we took a shower. he asked a few questions but we were mostly quiet. as i was toweling off, he asked "So... what does this make us?"

i blushed deeply and said "Whatever you want..." he kissed me, but it was unlike most of his kisses, this was gentle and sweet.

"Then i guess we're a happy gay couple!" he said against my lips as he pulled away. i blushed again, but could help the smile that spread across my face.

i got dressed and put some eyeliner on, smudging it over, and put some chapstick on. he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me close. i stared at the two of us in the mirror and smiled again, we didnt look half bad together.

he had snake bites like David Draiman, the horns curling under his chin perfectly. he had smudged eyeliner too, only his was purple, his dark blue eyes standing out even more, he was pale and lean, but muscular as hell, taller than me, and had short platinum white hair.

"Your so cute." he whispered, staring at us too. i smiled and leaned into him whispering "Your so hot." we both giggled until we heard someone knock on the door.

"Gerard? are you ok?" it was Goth Girl. i opened the door and hugged her. she hugged back. i pulled away and back into D's arms and whispered "Thank you so much!" to her.

she smiled widely and said "Anytime hun! are you and D together?" i nodded as D said "Duh!" making me giggle "You take care of him D, i'll kill you if you dont!" she said playfully. then another girl walked in, who i immediatly guess was Goth Girls twin, except this girl was a full on Prepp.

"Ger-"

"His name Is Emo Cutie!" D snapped, stroking my stomach.

she glared at him then said "Emo Cutie, this is my twin sister, Kayla, otherwise known as Prepp Chick." Prepp Chick came closer, blowing a big bubble, filling the room with the smell of strawberries. once it popped she smiled and said "Hey!" in probably the preppiest voice ive ever heard.

i blushed and smiled at her. "Heard you helped get rid of Rose Blood? if you did im forever fuckin greatful, i hated that bitch." she continued, both D and G nodded in agreement. "I-i guess..."

"Aww! your shy? D, i bet he leaves you weak in the knees!" she chirped making him giggle in an almost erotic way. "So you still need to explain to Papa, and the others want to meet you." Goth Girl said taking my hand and pulling me along. i grabbed D's hand and pulled him along with me. she led me out to a bigger room, each wall had a door, and in the middle was a platform big enough to be called a stage. above were different colored lights, below were couches and lounge chairs, next to tables. "If we like some one or more than one person, we come back here and give them a priviet showing, if we dont like them, we press the button next to our door, and they are gone. we take them to our room and do what we want." she said pulling me to another room.

"This is your techincal new room, but i suppose your gonna be sleeping with D, so you can use it for show and tell only." she opened the door and it was awesome... it was all black, but crimson pain was slashed against the walls like blood, every accessory red or silver, then i remembered my deep gash on my thigh.

i didnt even remember feeling the water hit in. i felt my thigh, but it didnt really hurt like it usually did, "We sewed you up. you were bleeding alot." Prepp Chick said, blowing another bubble.

i was almost angry, why would they do that? did i fucking ask them? no, i wanted it to scab over! so i could feel the pain of it healing and knowing that it was too deep to really rip off the scab.

_yes, feel angry, they didnt ask you, they just did what they wanted with you! is that fair Gerard? _Allie asked in a sly voice

"No!" i smacked my palm to my forehead to try and shut her up.

_dont try Allie, he's weak remember? he cant stand up for himself, he cant do anything! he's weak, arent you weak Gerard? _justin said even slyer than Allie, who giggled and said _he cant even stand up to us! how pathetic! tehe!_ "Stop!"

i smacked my head harder, it almost hurt.

_aww, is the poor baby hurt? does he need me to kiss his boo boo? haha! your emo remember? why would a simple smack on the head hurt? oh thats right, cuz your a pussy ass bitch! _justin laughed at his own insult.

"STOP!" i hadnt realized i had broken a piece of glass from where ever and started to try and yank my pants off, until Allie said _wow, he's too much of a pussy to cut on his arms, haha! _

"No im not!" i growled out and started to cut on my arms for the first time in my life. i stopped after six large slices, staring in shock as the blood dripped down. it was even more beautiful on my arms. i continued to stare at it, but now i stared in wonder.

i _liked_ it.

"EC? babe, are you ok?" i heard D ask. i looked at him to see him squating down to me, i must have slid down to the floor. i smiled at him, feeling happy again and nodded.

"What happened?" he asked.

i had forgotten only Goth Girl knew about the voices. i gulped loudly and looked back at my arm. i heard the clicking of heels and the door shut. i looked up again to find that the twins had left us, it was just me and D.

he sat next to me and held my bleeding hand, "You can talk to me baby, i wont judge you." a tear rolled down my face and i looked at him and whispered

"A kiss before? so if you leave me i will have that parting as a gift?" he smiled and kissed me gently, then placed him forehead on mine and whispered "Trust me, im not going to leave you."

i smiled to that and told him everything. the rape, me turning gay, my cutting and why i only cut on that specific spot, the voices, the pain of everyone else hurting me, and finally, what i did with my little brother.

when i was done i was crying hard, my eyes were killing me, but refused to stop releasing the precious moisture. i leaned my head on his shoulder to find him sitting stiff.

fear shot thru me, i couldnt lose my first boyfriend already!

i pulled away and quickly began to beg "Please dont leave me D! i swear, i will never talk about it again! i wont even act like anything happened! i wont cut around you, i wont-" he silenced me with a kiss, his lips even more gentle.

"Im not leaving you EC. i never will. you one of the strongest people i know, possibly the strongest. thank you for telling me the truth, im glad you can trust me." he said, once again placing his forehead to mine.

i sat on his lap and kissed him again, never wanting to stop. he just made me so happy!

"C'mon, let me clean you up." he said as i pulled away. i started to get up but he pulled me down again and kissed me one more time, then let me up. he washed me off gently, so he wouldnt hurt me. he wrapped me up (even after my protest, but he won me over when he said "I will give you a special surprise" cheater) and then there was a knock at my door.

i opened it to find Papa. "Hello Gerard." he said and a genuine smile spread across his face

"H-hi..."

"Do you mind if we talk? just so i know your background, i tend to not let kids with lots of police troubles in here."

"Sure, come on in. i mean, its your house and everything, thank you for the room, its awesome." i bit my tongue when i realized i was ranting he smiled wider in a sweet way and came in "Hello D, would you give us a few minutes?" he asked D, who smiled and and gave me a kiss before leaving.

Papa sat on a chair, pulling it close to the bed, and gestured for me to sit. i sat and stared at the floor. "So Gerard, tell me about yourself?"

"I hear voices..."

"What kind of voices?"

"A boy and girl..."

"do they tell you to do things?"

"Sometimes... most of the time they just make fun of me..."

"Did you name them?"

"Allie and Justin."

"Why those names?"

"They just came to me..."

he continued to question me then he asked "When did you realize you were gay?" my eyes welled up again as i responded in a shaky but honest voice "after that guy raped me."

i bursted into tears, feeling disgusting, knowing he felt the same. but he hugged me close and rocked me back and forth while i nearly screamed from the inner agony of such truths. after about thirty minutes, i calmed and he whispered "Its ok Gerard, you cant blame yourself for letting that change you. its all your brain knows, its what is comforting, its what you expirenced, you cant help what you feel or want."

"B-but its wrong! if anything it should have made me straight!" "No, Gerard, listen. everyone is different, and everyone reacts differently. just because some guys would never want to see another penis in their lives, even their own, most guys would want to have sex with another man, for many reasons, sometimes to feel what their rapist felt, sometimes to prove to themselves that they can choose whoever they want, instead of vise versa. but many turn gay because they, well, enjoyed it."

i ripped away from him, anger boiling again "I DID NOT LIKE IT!" i screamed. both Allie and Justin were chanting _kill him, kill him_.

"Gerard, im not saying it like that. please calm down."

"NO I WILL NOT FUCKING CALM DOWN! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS LIKE!"

"Gerard, i think i do."

"REALLY? I BET YOU'VE NEVER HAD SOMEONE SHOVE A DICK UP YOUR ASS! I BET YOU NEVER-"

"I WAS RAPED TOO!" he finally brusted into anger, screaming at me.

i felt like he had just stabbed me in the stomach.

he was so mad, contrasting violently with his calm and caring nature. he was shaking, and i hadnt noticed how muscular he was.

i was scared.

he stalked over to me, getting in my face. i backed up to the wall, feeling like a mouse in the eyes of a cat.

"Never, in your life, repeat what i am about to say, understood?" he growled out.

i nodded feverntly, fearing to anger him anymore.

"i was 12 an my father was a drunk. told me i was his fag son, that i like dick. i told him i didnt, that i hated him, and he raped me, and you know what? im gay too, he made me gay, because deep down inside, i liked it. just like you did." his eyes were starting to tear up, the rage turning to a sorrowful understanding.

i stood frozen against the wall, feeling like a fucking schmuck. "I-im sorry... i didnt-"

"Of course you didnt know, no one knew. i never felt the need to tell. thats the reason i tell everyone i cant have children, because im not a breeder." he was much calmer now, still frustrated, but he was pretty much back to his sweet self.

"please, dont tell anyone, no one knows." he begged, the tears flowing down.

i pulled him into a hug and whispered "I wont, i swear."


End file.
